This is a welcome back post for Keerthi, even though she is not going to share all the goodies she brought back from India I am writing this post in anticipation of all the posts she is going to write about her trip, about the wedding, parents, friends, shopping so on and so forth.
Now this tag is about listing the changes that are evident in me after I met my soul mate. I have changed as a person from the day I met M which is almost eight years back, some good and some not so good.
Now talking about changes after marriage (I know it’s a little different from changes after meeting your soul mate. Every husband cannot become his wife’s soul mate, but since in my case I believe that my husband is my soul mate I will have to refer to the changes after I met M). Now even as a little girl I was never happy with the thought that a girl has to change after her marriage, be it her eating habits, what she wears, her religious beliefs (in case of an inter religious marriage), her maiden name so on and so forth. I strongly opposed to such ideas and ended up having an argument with whoever mentioned this topic. It always bothered me when I was told that the girl has to change her mannerisms to suit the requirements of her in-laws family and her husbands requirements and I also heard instances when the girl was cursed and labeled as a home breaker if she was instrumental in changing her husband’s mannerisms. Double standards you see. Anyways coming to me I think I did not change much. My basic approach and my beliefs are pretty much the same as before. But here are some changes I came up with after racking my brain.
1. I never knew how to say “NO” till I met M. He told me the importance of talking my mind and avoiding future problems. Since then I speak my mind out most of the times, still there is some scope for improvement.
2. I was always an aggressive person but the levels have gone up after meeting M, he encouraged me to stand up for my beliefs.
3. This one is really important. I was a workaholic before I met M. By saying so I mean someone who worked 14-16 hours a day 7 days a week, without a break for two years. This was the time when we were dating and our relation saw some real bad days. The worst thing was that I was not only working had I was literally working on my Boss’s tasks. He explained me the implications of such approach and how to deal with it. At the end of the two year period everything happened they way he told and I realized my mistake. I started taking it easy, now I am satisfied in my personal life as well as professional life.
4. He also taught me to resolve any issue between me and him. You might wonder why he had to teach me that. Reason is simple, if I don’t like something, I cut myself off from that person or situation and eventually that relationship dies. I confessed my weakness to M during the 2nd or 3rd date and he took care of that and made me talk about what was bothering me and we would never go to sleep without resolving it.
This is all I can think of now. I am not tagging anyone, feel free to take it up.
August 13, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Hi,
I’ve been reading your blog for sometime now and I had left a comment ages ago on one of your posts about marriage in today’s context.
Im glad that there are still women who are opposed to changing their entire personality after marriage and I feel the same way.
This is a very interesting post and I will try to take it up sometime!
Cheers!
I remember you Amritha. Thanks for leaving a comment.
August 14, 2008 at 1:41 am
Workaholic before? Aren’t you one, even now?
I am one even now also but trust me i have learnt to draw the line. In good old days i will grab everything that came in my way. trust me and will not stop till i finish the task in hand.
August 14, 2008 at 2:19 am
Even I agree with Adithya…Aren’t you still the Workoholic…???
But Great Write-Up…Short and simple but conveys all Emotions….
oK now every one is ganging up against me.
August 14, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Hey a post from u after long time..nice one!!! workholic tho tum abhi bhi ho yaar…
Kya karein madam, its all for Roti, Kapda aur makan
August 14, 2008 at 4:24 pm
cute
Thanks.
August 14, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Hey Jaya…How r u? Thanks for the welcome note babes…
Thanks for taking up the tag….One another nice post from you girl….
I am good and so is everyone else in the family. Your display picture looks cool.
August 22, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Hello Jaya,
how r u? I am truly in awe of you after reading some of your posts and also from what I have known you (though never got a chance to interact) from TIA. I don’t know much about you, but all I want to say is “Be like this forever. Not everybody can be like you”. You are def’ly a woman of substance.
Hi Praneeta, nice to see you here. and i totally remember you. How have you been.
September 16, 2008 at 8:38 am
hmm, M seems to be the person whom I should contact before n after marriage for tips. jus kidding. good to know that all these changes are suiting you better than before.
No doubt he is good.